SIGH.... Dating Delirium

I am compelled to call this one “SIGH….”  As this is the reaction I have when I think about the mountainous climb I am experiencing as I attempt to re-enter the dating world, and moreover…the climb through the world of online dating.

Online dating is a modern day means of torture that perpetuates a great deal of angst.  I realize this a loaded statement.  This “grande social experiment” is intended to bring happiness and love.  Yet I have heard countless stories from those that have experienced only the angst version, and having decided to try again after 7 years, I am frankly just as horrified.

The first ascent on the mountainous climb of online dating is sifting through all the suitors.  Blech....  Are they tall or short, big or small, clever, boring, smart, funny, attractive?  And the hours we could spend dissecting screen names.

TIP:  Ladies- when his screen name is “CreativeDom”,  this does not mean his name is Dominic; rather DomiNANT…as in BDSM.  SIGH….  Fellas- if your screen name is "smokesnicebud" or "thebigonexxx"....rest assured you will get what you ask for.  SIGH....  

How about the guy who insisted during our first exchange that the “overuse of emoticons and abbreviated text is a sign of unprofessionalism and an indication of one’s intelligence.”  After sending him a reply with several LOLs and smiley faces :) :) :), indicating his obvious lack of a sense of humor, he informed me that “we have a personality conflict”.  Who can win at this?  SIGH....

The second feat in the ascent up this treacherous mountain is connecting.  Oh boy! THIS can be a real gem of a time.  Once you find someone you actually have an interest in connecting with, a whole new set of concerns arises..... Should I make the first move to connect?  How do I say "Hi?" Will they be interesting?  Will I be interesting?  Are they just looking for sex?  And you can't even imagine the text exchange when the grammar is a mess....

Finally the dreaded date- who looks forward to this?  Will I find him attractive?  Will he find me attractive? Will we have anything to talk about?  Will we have that "spark"?  What even IS a "spark"? Not to mention- Who will pay? How much should I drink?  I hope he doesn't try to kiss me because I'm not a kiss on the first date kinda girl..... SIGH....  (are you as exhausted as me already?)

Indeed there have been many success stories.  Couples have even married from meeting online.  I too have fared well in this “grande social experiment” in the past.  I was fortunate to find a relationship through a particular online site, that lasted 2 years; but after giving it a go for just a short time once again- all I am left with is-  SIGH....

Of course it is surely fair to suggest that online dating cannot be the only way to find a mate anymore.  I know there are many other ways to meet someone.  The grocery story.  Local clubs and activities.  Maybe I will join the local gathering of underwater basket weavers.  SIGH....

Those that are married or in a committed relationship don't always understand.  They think being single is liberating.  Some have told me, “I envy your independence.”  “How great it must be to be able to make all of the decisions without consulting someone else.”  “INSERT MORE HERE.”  Rest assured the grass is not always greener…single parents, and single people in general, DO make their own decisions, but they don’t always have someone to bounce them off of or to weigh the pros and cons.  Should I make this investment?  Should I parent this way? Which bill should I put off until next month?  Should I paint the walls cadet grey?  But, there certainly ARE perks- having the bed to myself is at the top of the list!

Maybe some of us just need to imagine that this is not the season in our lives for love.  How long of a season, there’s no telling.  Are we too picky when it comes to finding a partner?  Is the reason we are single due to a fear of being entirely vulnerable to someone else?  Is it in protest to sharing finances and ultimately our bed with another person?  Perhaps.  

Knowing myself, I am certain these adventures in dating will not go on forever.  And in the aftermath of this dating apocalypse, if I am left still standing, alone, I will have my dignity knowing that my season may still someday change and at least I didn't succumb to the riveting temptations of "CreativeDOM".  SIGH.... :)